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Update-time I'm always up and down, mood and weight-wise. Meh, it… - My heart is mine to give to whom I will
..and I have the Gift of a Mortal Life..or choose to fade with the Grey Ships.

arwens_ghost
Date: 2008-05-24 20:53
Subject: (no subject)
Security: Public
Mood:busybusy
Update-time
I'm always up and down, mood and weight-wise. Meh, it varies from minute to minute.
I'm always better in the summer I think and am actually enjoying 'stuff' sometimes - which is a huge improvement on last year. I like my 2 work-days a week (medical secretary for my dad), and my voluntary work with my lovely blind lady gives me pleasure. We are also keeping a couple of beehives now which is quite cool - mostly because mum loves doing this and it makes me happy to see her enjoying a hobby of her own choosing   

I'm enthused that I felt brave enough to book a holiday with mum, and I WANT to enjoy it. We're staying down in a self-catering (thank god) cottage on the south coast around Dorset (England - btw). I'm really nervous, though - and only about the food issues! - blaagh boo sucks. I have a feeling I'll be living off porridge, pepsi max and copious teas and coffees. At least I put milk in hot drinks. Hopefully being on the coast I can try and eat fish - that feels like I could try and make it feel 'safe'. IDK, looks nice, though:






Wow, though - I'm so fed up at the intermittent depression that still creeps up and I want rid of this ongoing rampant ED!!!!!! I'm fully aware my weight is FAR too low, and it's a vicious circle. It makes me depressed, anxious and grumpy - and the lower the weight the lower your brain 'needs' it to be = more food-phobia. I feel like a coward for not breaking this, but at least I don't WANT an ED for a friend any more. Skinniness is not desirable and I'm always being told I have 'more to offer'. This is hard - living with a 'disease of the emotions'

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friedapearl
User: friedapearl
Date: 2008-05-24 22:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hahahhha, oh god, I love your self deprecating humor. Who ever thought exotic birds would offer ~*ThInSpO*~

You're so pretty....and the pictures are lovely.
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arwens_ghost
User: arwens_ghost
Date: 2008-05-25 18:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thanks for the compliment, but you do know I'm the one on the left, don't you? ;P

On a serious note - I'm glad you're enjoying your new mod status - because you're doing a good job. I think about you so often with your little girl and hope all is good for your whole family.
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User: failureisfated
Date: 2008-05-25 00:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
YAY I INSPIRED THIS ENTRY! Or at least, gave you the idea. Is that the same thing? I don't know. I'm on summer break. I don't need to think.

The bird is priceless. And I'm glad you updated. I was starting to get worried about you.

Hang in there. I have faith that you'll get through this. :]
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spyral_path
User: spyral_path
Date: 2008-05-25 04:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The cottage looks nice. I hope you enjoy yourself on holiday.

Sorry but I'm feeling realy inarticulate but I wanted to let you know that I'm here and I'm reading your posts.
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perfectthinking
User: perfectthinking
Date: 2008-05-25 05:29 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Basically whatspyral_path said. I'm inarticulate right now. I think about you. Enjoy your holiday, it looks wonderful :) Take care lovley.

I loled at the bird. But you look like you are very sad in your picture. And that makes me sad. You're beautiful, and I hope you can start to enjoy life a little bit more each day.

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arwens_ghost
User: arwens_ghost
Date: 2008-05-25 18:23 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
We both look a little sad I guess, but you do kow that I'm actually the one on the left!! :D
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solitude1984
User: solitude1984
Date: 2008-05-25 20:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm the same way with both mood and weight ... the constant shifts in mood drives me insane ... it's probably one of the worst aspects of having an ed (in my opinion at least, cause it's hard to enjoy anything ... plus I feel like I'm bringing everyone down with me).

Congrats on the job! =)
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